Through Hell and Back
by ekiyono13
Summary: Jane is kidnapped by a past demon. She is pushed to the edge and is changed forever by one life changing event. Will Maura, Frost, and Korsak be able to find her? How will Maura's determination bring back the Jane she once knew? Warning: Graphic and not for the light-hearted Rizzles fans. It is dark and tragic. no one dies.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Warning! This is a really sad and graphic story. If you can't handle what happens don't read and don't hate on me! If you do, stick with it I promise there will be a really amazingly good ending. 3 If you are brave enough to read this then, please leave feedback and support! Thank You!**

Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

-William Shakespeare

Nothing felt familiar anymore, it was cold, dark, and uncomfortable. Something hurt..._no, everything hurt. _The room smelt like a hospital, but one that smelt like it had been dead for years, old, dusty, and the smell of rotted corpses. It filled the brunette's nostrils and drove itself to the pits of her stomach. She heaved. All her muscles contracted and her eyes flew open. It was like waking up from a twisted nightmare. Blinking to life again, she hit her head on the wall as she lulled it back. Everything was spinning slowly around her, she kept blinking to stay awake, to stay alive.

Pain tore through her body. It felt like wounds left open only to become infected. When her eyes failed her, her sense of hearing heightened. She could hear emptiness and clicking, like high heels tapping on tile floors coming down a long hall.

The sound of heels clacking against hard floor sounded familiar, "...M-Maura..." When her voice left no echo and no response she realized that nothing would probably ever feel familiar to her again.

The heels got closer, and when they stopped, the sound was replaced by another small swift click and then buzzing of half broken fluorescent lights.

"Good to see you are waking up, Jane." A cold female voice spoke.

Jane was fading into life again; the lights that worked blinded her. "Where...Where am I?" She tried to move her hands to her neck where she had been injected with whatever knocked her out, but she found herself unable to bring her arms up.

Confused, she shook herself to wake up and looked down at where her hands were. What she saw made her fear level increase, but she had to remember to stay calm. She was in a white straitjacket with red stains that looked like it was fresh blood that came from within the jacket, as if her own. With as much force as she could conjure up from her weak body, she tried to struggle her arms free.

"There's no point in trying to wiggle your way free." The female laughed. "Besides, I thought you wanted all the...bad...horrible...killers locked up, yes?"

Jane was trying to make sense of everything, but was finding it very difficult. She stopped struggling, because as much as she hated to admit it, the female was right. There wasn't any use in wasting her energy to try and attempt to get out of a straitjacket. Jane groaned, closed her eyes, and tried to form words but she could only mouth out one. "Killer..?"

"That is what you are, is it not?" The words cut like a knife through Jane's thoughts.

Jane never thought herself to be a killer. Sure, she shot a few people when it came down to the final draw but it was her job, what she had been trained to do. It was always for the right reasons with good intentions.

Not answering the woman back, she was finally able to manage keeping her eyes open for more then a few seconds. Jane took the opportunity to assess the situation around her, however, when she got a glimpse of what she could it only made her stomach heave and muscles contract once more.

Jane noticed that the room she was in was an old psychiatric hospital room, with light green shredded wallpaper, and broken tile floor. The florescent lights that were working were snug in the fixtures, while the ones not working were swinging down from them. To her right she could feel eyes watching her through a giant tinted window, it was like the windows that you would find in an interrogation room. The room smelt like rotting corpse, and Jane made a mental note to quickly try and find the source of it. When she did she closed her eyes and swallowed the knot in her throat. The culprit of the smell had been from about 4 or 5 dead bodies piled at the foot of the bed that Jane was in.

"You're a natural born killer, and it's almost time for dinner." The female said while revealing herself to Jane with a needle filled with an unknown liquid.

The woman was petite with high heels, a tight small black dress, and a white over coat. She resembled Maura in many ways, which slightly shocked Jane, it was like she had stocked the honey blonde and made it a point to have all her same features. She wore her hair with loose curls that laid elegantly around her face and shoulders. It was a honey blonde tone accompanied by hazel eyes that held no warmth within them.

"I-I'm not hungry." Jane managed to get out.

The woman tilted her head and smiled while nearing her with the needle. "Oh, darling, you need to eat."

Jane felt fear shoot up her body, she tried to get to her feet to run to the other side of the room. Anything to not get stabbed with another needle with God knows what substance. As Jane lifted to her feet a sharp pain through her neck pulled her back down to the bed like a linebacker taking out it's prey. She could feel it now, a metal collar was clamped around her neck and kept her chained to the wall. Tears filled her eyes as the female pulled closer.

"Now don't struggle, Jane, you don't want the needle breaking off in your neck do you?" The female warned with a serious face. She was so emotionless that it killed Jane to watch her.

Jane knew that she couldn't fight whatever was about to happen, all she could do was grit and bear. She bit down hard and tensed up as tears started to flow out of her eyes. The woman injected the anonymous fluid into the brunette.

"What is this stuff?" Jane asked with an angered raspy voice.

"A strong dosage of liquid bath salts..."

Jane didn't let the woman finish, she started laughing out loud hysterically with tears filling her eyes.

"Great...I'm so fucked." She grunted slamming her body into the metal framed headboard. "So what, am I going to be addicted to this shit now?"

"Watch your language." The female mouthed as if quoting Maura, Jane gave her a strange look. "With a few more doses, yes you will become addicted, but don't worry I have a way to rid you of that addiction."

The feelings of the drug were starting to take place in Jane's body.

"Now, don't try anything stupid." She loosened the straps on the straitjacket, enough to when the Maura look alike walked away she could free herself from it.

"Smart.." Jane laughed to herself while undoing the jacket. "Free me physically but you chain me up mentally. Fuck you, Bitch, Fuck you..." The drugs were starting to talk for her. She looked down at her body once the straitjacket was off, and looked down at her arms. They had deep long gashes that followed from her wrist to her elbows.

"You see, I tried to rid you of all your evil by cutting it out of you, but you're so evil it didn't work. Now, there is a gun in that case, use it wisely. The doors are locked and they are bullet proof along with the window that separates you from me. "

Jane started to feel paranoid, she clasped her hands around her neck and felt the metal collar. At the same moment, the woman pressed a button, that gave Jane the knowledge that the chain had more slack for her to move about the room in almost free range.

Jane got out of the bed and felt extremely dizzy, she shook what she could of it off, and tried to go into cop mode. _Fail_.

"Come on, Rizzoli, think." She whispered to herself, everything was fading, she felt like her body was filled with extra strength, but her mind was anchored down with fear and panic. "Fucking drugs!" She screamed.

"Yes, you are a killer, Jane Rizzoli. You kill people and shoot people like your best friend's father, you shot to kill, not to cripple. You're lucky, Jane, cause I shoot to cripple.

Her mind started to turn on her, she collapsed to the ground and started crying hysterically, the mention of Maura's father made whatever held Jane together snap.

"One of the drugs side effects is fighting your inner demons, now fight!" She pressed a button that opened a door from across the room. A well-built man stepped out with a scalpel and started to laugh, he was a murder, a killer, and Jane knew it.

"You're a murder, Jane. Take the gun." The female was using everything against Jane to condition her into a murderer.

Jane was now sitting in a corner crying and rocking back and forth. "I'm not a killer. I'm not a killer. I won't kill. I won't kill. But you have to kill, Jane. You have to it's your job, it's what you were trained to do." She shook her head. " You're not a killer."

The man approached her and with a deep voice. "I always finish what I start, Jane." He mimicked Jane's worst enemy, Hoyt. The man reached out and cuffed his hand tightly around Jane's throat and slammed her against the wall. She felt the pain radiate through her spine as she fell back to the floor.

"Get up." The man cooed.

"I'm not a killer..." She continued.

"Oh, your not?" He took the scalpel and cut along her cheek.

Her face was now covered in blood and tears. She started to fear what would happen next and she felt the drugs take her over. She pushed the man back and got to her feet and ran to the bed. He got up and chased her, she turned over and tried to flip the bed on him but she couldn't realizing the bed was bolted down.

"Leave me alone!" She yelled now gripping her head. All that it felt like was a slow, torturous nightmare that would never end.

"Kill him, Jane." The woman darted. She was intently watching and butting in through the low volumed intercom.

"I'm not a killer, I'm not a killer!" She tried with all her strength to hold on to that. She tried to hang on to all the justice she had fought for, all the lives she saved because a murderer was gone or locked up. She tried to hang on to the last piece of humanity she felt she had left, but it was slowly slipping from her.

She ran to the case where the gun was, and opened it only to fumble the gun around in her hands. The man came after her, and her paranoia snapped causing her to react immediately without hesitation. She pistol whipped him in the face, and scrambled far enough to get good aim at the man. "Stay away from me!" She yelled.

The man laughed and came toward her once more wielding the scalpel between his fingers. She was filled with to much paranoia and anxiety. BANG! The gun went off, and the man fell to the ground with a bullet between his eyes.

When she realized what she did she started shaking and threw the gun across the room and cradled into herself. "I am not a killer."

The woman pressed the button once more, and the chains slack tightened making it impossible for Jane to move about the room.

"See, you are a killer, Jane. Why won't you admit it?" The voice echoed through the room.

"I'm not a killer!" Jane screamed as tears ran down her face, she was now pulling at her hair and scratching at herself to get the filth of killing the man off. The drugs had won, and she was starting to fight her inner turmoil, she was struggling and losing will to carry on, but the drugs made her restless and kept making her face what was in front of her. It was like someone stapled her eyes open so she could watch her self slowly be killed and tortured.

"You're a killer, Jane. Go to sleep, get some rest, breakfast awaits you." The lights went out and the heels clacked away.

Jane felt alone, hurt, and at lowest she had ever felt. She prayed as much as she could when the drugs wore off that Frost and Korsak would find her, but the second she started praying, she started to feel less hope. What she experienced that night, wasn't the end of it.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hope you all are enjoying! Sorry about the very long time in between the updates! (I'm a college student) However, now that things are settling into routine, I should be able to update more. Anyways - this part might be a little blah but it's needed so bare with me! Thanks for the Reviews! Please continue with feedback :)

Boston Police Department

9:13 a.m.

See one, Do one, Teach one.

-R&I

Dr. Isles paced back and forth in the morgue with her cellphone to her ear. It was already past 9 and Maura was still left with no sign of Jane arriving to work.

_Come on Jane. This isn't like you to not answer your phone. _Maura thought to herself as the voicemail repeatedly picked up.

She tried a few more times, but considered it hopeless after the fourth voicemail. She sighed looking at her watch and decided it was time to go check the squad room.

When she arrived in the squad room, she cleared her throat to catch the attention of Sergeant Korsak and Detective Frost.

"Dr. Isles! What can we do for you?" Sgt. Korsak looked up.

"It's Jane..." she paused. "Have you seen her? She hasn't come to see me in the morgue like she usually does."

Korsak made a gesture to Frost using his eyes and Frost smiled at their inside joke. Maura crinkled her face into a curious look.

"What?" She stared.

"Nothing." Frost laughed it off. They knew that Dr. Isles and Jane had a deep connection but it was funny to see them dance around and pretend like they didn't have feelings for each other. "Seriously though, she hasn't came in yet nor has she called. She probably decided to take a day for herself. After all, yesterday's case was a bit hard on her."

Maura looked down with a bit of shock. It wasn't like Jane to not tell her she took the day off. _You should have told me, Jane. I would have taken the day off with you and cooked you something healthy, or watched movies with you...maybe you just wanted to sleep, but still. _

_ "_Okay. Maybe she wants to sleep it off. She has been looking a bit fatigued lately." Dr. Isles did the best to put her thoughts together, when the phone rang on Frost's desk.

"Hmm. That's weird. It's the Broome St. Jail." Detective Frost noted as he picked up the phone. "This is Detective Frost." His facial expression dropped as he listened intently to the person on the other side of the phone.

"Okay thanks. We will be right there." Frost stated. "Looks like we have an escapee from the jail. They would like us to come investigate and check it out. They think there might be a link with the guy that escaped..." Frost sighed. "...and Hoyt."

"But Hoyt, is dead, how's he got anything to do with this?" Sgt. Korsak darted back.

Maura froze in fear. _Jane. _She looked up and was ready to take off and check up on Jane.

"I have no idea. But we gotta go. Maura we may need you, just in case there is something that you need to look at." Frost retorted.

The doctor nodded and decided it would probably be better if she went with them, to get as much information as possible before it is too late. She would visit Jane after and inform her of everything they found out.

* * *

When they arrived at the jail they were treated with the same hostile attitude as before. Warden Price was being a dick. All of them looked at each other knowing it was probably a good thing Jane wasn't there with them.

"Where is his cell?" Korsak asked.

"Right this way." Price directed.

When they reached the cell they couldn't find anything suspicious.

"Can we get a name on the escapee? Maybe files that provide background information or are we going to need a subpoena for that, too?" Frost started at the warden. He remembered how things went down last time and he'd be damned if it happened again.

Warden Price gave Detective Frost an unpleasant look. Even though what had happened with his prison guard and inmate gave him a bad reputation he still held a grudge against the detectives. "You know damn well I can't give you background information without a subpoena. However, his name, Martin Bartholomew."

Frost clenched his teeth annoyed. "You call us over here to investigate and all you will give us is a name? You're wasting our time."

"I would have figured you'd to be prepared upon arrival. It's legally what needs to be done, so I suggest you get it done." Price smiled sharply, "now I suggest that it's time you go. I will have my guards escort you all out."

Frost waited until Price walked away. He was furious, not only because Price made things harder but he feared for Jane's life and every second was important.

"You might want this," one of the prison guards handed Korsak a picture. "I found it right after he escaped, I didn't give it to the warden because well... he's a dick and I heard about the incident before."

It looked like the picture was photo-shopped. It has three people Hoyt, Jane, and another who may have been Bartholomew.

"You guard this section?" Korsak asked.

"Yes, sir. All day everyday. Crazy block if you ask me."

"This man, here." Korsak pointed. "Is that him?"

The guard nodded and with that Korsak knew exactly what he had to do.

"Thank you, you may have just saved a life."

The three left the Jail as instructed to do so by Warden Price.

"We should go check up on Jane." Maura stated from the back seat. "For some reason I'm not getting a good feeling about any of this."

"Me either." Frost shot back and pushed the squad car into drive. He wasted no time and quickly made his way to Jane's apartment.

When they had arrived their feelings had shifted to the pits of their stomachs.

"Korsak cover me, and Maura, stay back." Frost drew his gun and made his way to Jane's front door. He prepared himself to barge open the door, but then realized it was already open.

"Shit." Frost went in and flanked left with Maura as Korsak flanked right.

"Clear over here."

"Clear here and no signs of Jane." Korsak gave a disappointed look.

"Hey, I found something." Maura held up what looked like a used syringe.

"Oh, this doesn't look good. I'm calling Frankie, get some detectives out here to see if they can find anything else. We need to head back to the P.D. and get that syringe analyzed and figure out what we can about this Martin Bartholomew." Korsak ordered as he began his phone call.

After checking everything that they needed, Detective Frost, Sgt. Korsak, and Dr. Isles all gathered together to brief each other.

"I found Phenobarbital within the syringe, no prints, but the needle did have Jane's DNA." Maura looked at the detectives with extreme worry.

Korsak looked at Frost. "It says here that Martin Batholomew, used to serve in the same company as Hoyt. He was a military psychiatric Doctor, but was dishonorably discharged for Schizophrenia and practicing unnecessary Lobotomy's on soldiers. He started going crazy. Came back to Boston and couldn't handle the civilian life, went nuts and wound up in Jail." Frost explained.

"Lobotomy..." Maura's eyes darted up with extreme fear.

"He's not in a psych ward?" Korsak asked.

"He was too dangerous. It was better to hold him in max security with the right medical attention."

"So then why wasn't he?" Maura interrupted.

"Maybe good behavior. My guess Hoyt trained him and he listened, did as told until he found out that Hoyt died, now he has to finish what Hoyt wanted."

"Jane... We have to find her now. Is there anything that we can pull up or find that can give us a lead?" Maura asked.

"It says here that when they arrested him it was at the old psych hospital."

"Is it still around?" Korsak wondered as he tried putting things together.

"Checking..." Frost tossed his fingers rapidly against his keyboard while Maura prayed for a lead. "Actually, yes it's still standing and became vacant last year."

"That's it. Let's go check it out. Maura you're going to have to stay here." Korsak gathered his things along with Frost.

"No way, I'm not waiting behind, she could be dead already, and even if she isn't then you're going to need my help anyways."

Frost looked at Korsak with serious contemplation. "She is right, Korsak. It might be helpful if she comes along."

"Fine, but you have to stay back, this is probably more dangerous then Hoyt, himself."

With no other words exchanged, they all gathered the rest of their things and fled as fast as they could to find Detective Jane Rizzoli.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Fair warning, it gets deep and I told you! but like I said stick with me and it'll be okay, I promise. Please feel free to leave feedback! (It keeps me inspired! :p) Thanks for all the recent follows! Enjoy!**

Same Day

9:15am

Jane sat on the bed with her legs tucked into her body. The innocent white bed was now stained with guilty blood. She was unable to sleep as the drugs took a strong effect on her. She was covered with new wounds from fighting internally with herself all night and kept having flashbacks of shooting the man who was now laying on the floor just at the end of her bed. Her mind turned on her and remained restless, usually she was able to put things like that behind her but everything that was happening kept having damaging effects.

Jane closed her eyes and tried to blink back her tears. Every moment that passed dwindled her survival rate and she was slowly losing hope.

A moment passed as Jane tried with all her might to collect herself, but she was interrupted by a sharp static noise that bolted over the intercom. It had startled Jane because she was now up right and shaking in the bed. Her eyes darted around to see if someone was coming. She figured it was time.

The woman's voice echoed. "Breakfast time. You know, Jane, if you just admit that you're a killer, this would all be over. So just admit it, you have one last chance."

Jane stuttered out the words "I'm not a killer." She said it to let the woman know but also to reassure her own self. She was beginning to believe she was truly a killer after killing the man.

"Very well, then."

A few moments after the wretched voice disconnected from the intercom, the double doors bolted open. It was the woman with another dose of what appeared to be liquid bath salts. Jane closed her eyes and clenched her teeth as the tears rolled down her cheek.

"Please, don't do this. If you would just let me...I could help you. Please..." Jane pleaded with more tears.

"Help me? You can't even help yourself! Look at you, falling apart and killing people left and right. I thought you were trained to be able to overcome these hardships, but now it looks like you're drowning in them."

Jane bit the inside of her cheek and closed her eyes. As much as she hated to admit it to herself, the woman was right. "I'm not a killer. Please..."

"What a shame, you can't even overcome denial. This might help." The female smiled and pushed the needle into Jane's neck. The brunette cried out as she felt every drop of fear pour into her.

Without any other words exchanged the woman retreated to the back room and spoke over the intercom once more. "Well then, if you won't admit you are a killer...Breakfast is served."

The doors unlocked and the chains loosened around her neck. She made a quick note for where the gun was and then darted her eyes back at the opened doors where the 'breakfast' stood.

It was a small boy with sandy blonde hair and looked about 5 or 6. He stood with fear in his beautiful green eyes that reminded Jane of Maura and with a knife in hand as he inched toward Jane. The image in front of the brunette broke her heart. It hurt her to see such a beautiful child being forced to do such things.

"You sick, Bitch!" Jane screamed at the top of her lungs.

"At least I admit it. This poor boy has never killed, but you may very well be his first if you let him kill you."

Jane felt guilt spread through her body. She couldn't tell if it was the drugs kicking in, but she started shaking and her heart beat increased rapidly. The last thing she wanted was to kill a boy, but she also didn't want an innocent child to have to live with the guilt of having killed someone. It seemed like there was no easy way to end this.

She looked around the room with blurred eyes and quickly remembered the gun. She scrambled in her mind for a solution as the boy fearfully kept inching towards her. It only made her wonder what the woman had told him, what was his motivation to kill Jane.

An idea hit home in her mind as the drugs wore in. _You are a fucking murderer, Jane. Let the little boy live and just stop fucking yourself, you're not worth living. You're like those bastards you bring in to the station all the time, you have no seniority to live over that boy. Kill. Kill yourself, Jane and let him live. _Jane told herself internally.

Jane shot up with adrenaline and scrambled for the gun. When she reached it, she held it tightly in her blood stained hands. Her face hardened as she accepted everything that she had done in that room and before.

"I'm dead anyway, Maura. Goodbye, I've always loved you." Jane whispered as she cocked the gun and prepared to fire it at her head. Jane breathed in and fell silent.

"No you don't." The lady rang over the intercom with an angered voice. "You don't get off that easy." She pressed the button for the chains to tighten and the gun fell as she was dragged violently across the floor.

Jane clenched the metal collar around her neck trying to catch her breath. She noticed the boy was standing at her bed side when she was able to regain some composure.

"Come on, you don't want to do this." Jane pleaded.

The little boy didn't respond and lifted the knife towards Jane.

Jane cradled into herself and rocked back and forth. The last thing she wanted was for the child to have to do something that would scar him mentally. It was becoming harder and harder to fight, so she had to think quick. She dug her nails deeper into her skin as she tried to figure something out, as she felt the boy get closer and closer to her. _Just admit it and it'll all be over. You're a killer. Just admit it. _The woman's voice slowly came echoing into her mind. _That's it! _

"I'm a killer! I admit it! Leave him out of this!" Jane screamed while covering her ears as she feared what would happen next.

The room went silent and when the boy dropped the knife to the floor, the room over-exaggerated the noise. Jane kept covered, she had no idea what to expect next but she was thankful that she heard the knife drop.

"Are you a killer?" The voice echoed over the intercom.

"Yes...I...am...a killer..." Jane let go of everything she ever held onto with the words that faintly escaped her lips.

"Very well." The doors opened and the woman appeared with a large silver tray. The boy stood quietly by the brunette's bed side as the woman placed the tray on a tray holder at the end of the bed. Jane looked up slowly to see what was going on and she noticed the little boy was now sobbing quietly while he watched the woman.

The woman reached for a pair of white latex gloves and slipped them on. Once the gloves were on, she picked up what appeared to be a Smith and Wesson 360. Jane tried to make it out the best she could but the drugs were making her dizzy and anxious.

The boy reached for the brunette's hand and squeezed it as hard as his little hand could, and for a second Jane's heart calmed at the last innocent piece of humanity she would probably ever see and before she knew it, the boy was laying dead in her arms.

Jane blinked, she couldn't believe her eyes. She looked over at the smoking revolver and went numb. She felt all of her body collapsing in pain and horror. The room and the drugs were turning against her, she saw everyone she ever put behind bars or caught screaming murderer at her as the room spun behind them, and then she felt the room blacken all around her.

* * *

Jane finally woke up after the drugs had worn off a bit. The room was still spinning and she noticed she had very minimal range of movement. She glanced down using only her eyes as she quickly learned her head was strapped still. When she looked down, she noticed that her hands and feet were also strapped to a large wooden chair that looked like it may have been an old electric chair. _Please, God, just make this all go away._

The woman walked back out. "Oh good, you're awake and we can begin."

Jane was numb, she was learning not to care anymore, and just blinked. She was sad that no one came to her in time and thought about how bad her death would be to Maura. _Maura. Frost, please don't let her see me like this. _

The next thing that Jane felt was an excruciating pain in her head. She screamed as loud as she could but it all seemed so distant. All she could see was the woman leaning over her and an Ice-pick being shoved into her brain.

"That should do the trick..."

"Freeze!" Frost yelled, but Korsak took no hesitation and shot off three rounds. The woman collapsed to the floor.

"Jane!" Maura screamed and ran to the chair where Jane was sitting. "Jane, we are here, everything is okay now." Maura took Jane's chin in her hand and lifted the brunettes head. "Oh my god! Frost, Korsak, we're too late."

Maura's eyes filled with tears and she started to sob hysterically. Frost held her in his arms and didn't bother looking to see why Maura reacted the way she did. "Is it bad?" Frost asked Korsak.

Korsak waved his hand in front of Jane's face and for the first time he saw Korsak tear up. "Yeah..."

"She's been lobotomized, Frost." Maura cried harder and collapsed to the floor and Frost tried his best to comfort her.

"Let's get this called in." Korsak cleared his throat and threw his badge across the room. He was pissed that they had gotten there too late. "We should have had this. We should have fucking gotten here in time."


End file.
